What can you do when your “inner saboteurs” scare you?

It is very natural to feel at lost or anxious when we believe that we face a situation that we cannot control. Maybe it is a potential merger we are nervous about, or a new and disliked manager enters our team. Internal “saboteurs” may raise their voice and tell us ”this is not good” or ask you “what if you soon don’t have a job?”. Although nothing may be clear yet, we often paint out the worst-case scenario and create negative emotions. In German there is a great word for it: “Kopfkino” (It literally translates to “Head Cinema”).

For many, the job is an important part if their identity and even the mere thought (= inner saboteur) of a potential loss of job, have grave effects on the sense of wellbeing, work performance and the way we view ourselves.

Selenko, 2014, researched this with employees in UK. 10 years earlier, Lucas (2004) found that a period of unemployment had long-term consequences for life satisfaction, even after the person found a new job. So in fact, the negative expectations we may have for a potential job-loss, can have a continuous negative impact. 

Let us unfold the emotional side of this, and be constructive about how the “inner saboteur” can be managed better:

  1. The emotions are born from a negative expectation towards a future potential event. In addition, our brain is great in adding one bad scenario on top of another, without any factual evidence. So now it’s suddenly not only about the potential merger, but also about that the loss of job will create an unhappy family.  The brain goes on overdrive. But we don’t know for sure that it will happen, and even if it would, ask your-self “How many times did my past worst-case scenarios really happen?”

  2. When things do go wrong we are not defenceless creatures that cannot find alternative routes. We have been in bad places before, and found our way out of it. It may help to recall these past instances, and become aware of the fact that we actually worked it out.

  3. We often forget how many different resources we have (mental, social, educational etc.) and this is a good time to take inventory of this, and write them on a list. If we ask friends and family for input as-well, we mostly end up with a list that positively surprises us and may even prompt some new ideas what to do with these.

  4. What about reframing the situation? If we imagine that we stand in front of a crossroad, we can take full ownership of which road we take. The brain loves when we take back control, and rewards us with feelings of empowerment and courage. It helps us to be proactive, rather than just waiting for what will happen.

  5. It absolutely helps to build up new goals, develop new career ideas and build concrete alternatives to the current job. The activity in it-self creates a sense of self-determination, purpose and motivation, which in turn generates positive emotions that fuel confidence and optimism. Remember that many people have used the energy and opportunity from loosing their job, to build something new and extraordinary.

  6. The above five point are obviously not an exhaustive list of how to deal with emotional distress, for whatever reason it may be. But it does pay off to not ignore the emotions and to address them actively, as this is gives us the opportunity to be optimistic about the future.

In our coaching work, we work with clients who look to “unstuck” themselves, to develop a new purpose, to face a problematic situation, create new perspectives or to change their careers. They have one thing in common: They want to take ownership of themselves, their situation and their future.

If you are interested in more information on this topic, please reach out to us via a private message, via Henrik@novosensus.orgor visit us on www.novosensus.org.