Martin’s story - Part 1.
A story of how leaders give their people a pacifier, instead of the engagement they really need.
Recognition and appreciation is absolutely important, but it cannot be a substitute for engaging with your people on a personal level. When we Lead from Home (LFH), we need to be particularly aware of the “Pacifier Trap”, where we tell people we appreciate them — but in fact, we just want to pacify them.
“Hire good people, and then get out of their way, so that they can do their job”.
But who told you to abandon them?
The real and Frustrating Story of Martin
Martin does a fantastic job. He works ultra-long hours and achieves great results. His bosses constantly tell him how great he is doing. At first, it was motivating and he was proud. But after a period of constant praise, where no leader asked him what he feels or what he needs, his mood started to change. He felt like being “pacified”. A feeling of depreciation, where his personal sense of value dropped. Now Martin feels like he is just a “resource” that is being pumped with the high octane fuel of appreciation.
But as many high performers are, Martin is humble and doesn’t want to ask for anything. He feels abandoned, and his frustration nags.
Soon, this grows into a feeling of disillusion, and he starts to become cynical about his bosses and work. When the crisis ends, Martin plans to leave the company and join a competitor.
This could all have been avoided.
Does that sound like something that may happen in your organization too?
When leading from home (LFH), it’s so easy to send a meaningless compliment on the internal messenger. Leaders use the weekly zoom session to tell their people how great they are, and some even have “Appreciate Martin” dotted into their to-do-list. It’s all very “nice”, but not enough.
Chances are that your people have the same experience as Martin at some level:
33% of employees say that their leaders do not have enough empathy with them, and 40% say that they do not get Constructive Feedback from their leaders*.
Think about it for a moment: Are your leaders pacifying their people, instead of really engaging with them constructively and with empathy?